Sweet Dreams

It almost seems like a cruel joke that I chose yesterday, for the first time, to post on a weekend and do a bit of personal reflection and disregard the news from around the world. I reflected mostly on my life within school and what will happen when I leave, and sure, reading it now I find an undertone of having had extreme good fortune and perhaps not recognizing it. I don't consider myself, I think, one of those people who simply cannot recognize the good in their life. I know I do and I know that I have been extremely fortunate.

But, perhaps paradoxically, the edges become sharper and the lines more clearly defined as time passes. You've probably all heard the news of the school killings coming out of Virginia today, and I'll try my best not to write on it too extensively. It doesn't do any good to rehash the obvious when I'm sure everyone can agree that it's a horrible situation.

Events like this probably do, and should, make us feel fortunate. Just yesterday I expressed my dismay at the confusion surrounding my future, and here, 33 people have had their futures snatched away from them doing the exact same thing I've been doing for so long now - creating choices through education. I ended yesterday's post with a fairly glib comment, something about pushing all the negative shit away and reflecting that things will roll on more or less as they should. And though it may seem irresponsible to say that now, I still believe it.

I've had more than a few friends express to me today their disgust and horror at what happens in the world - an understandable and admirable observation. It shows that these people are moral and emotional people who do not let life fall lightly upon them without leaving an impression.

But a deeper part of me despairs any lasting feelings some may hold regarding the "futile" nature of everything. I'm naturally an anxious person, and over the past few years I've committed myself to not letting things bother me as much as they used to, and though this is no laughing matter, I still believe that looking forward is the best policy one can have (while, of course, keeping an eye trained over the shoulder). I'd like to encourage those who have been shocked and saddened by today's events to keep that in mind too. I don't think they need my warnings anyway - most people I know are quite good at keeping their chins up.

Just before I wrap up my philosophical waxing, I'll make a small note, something that Kari mentioned in her blog a little while ago about the gruesome and often depressing news that dominates journalism. It's my belief that this is simply the way journalism is, and it does not reflect anything sadistic about the human race, any bloodlust that is somehow inherent. I do not think, by nature, that the news is full of bad tidings simply because that is what is entertaining.

We must keep in the mind that the news is a system that is essentially the never-ending catalogue of our times. It sustains itself by never reaching an end. Good news, stories that make one cheerful, are good news mainly because they have ENDINGS. A little old lady wins the lottery and she can now get that hip replacement; a small child is rescued from a flood and can now go on to lead a happy, full life; a food shipment finally gets to starving refugees somewhere in Cambodia, and they can carry on now.

Bad news, on the other hand, is the killing of the dragon before we can get to the damsel. It's the conflict, and nobody has ever read a bedtime story that began with walking out the front door and ended two pages later with the hero getting his just rewards. Something must happen. It's more than simply satiating the masses their need for death and mayhem.

That being said, I was forced to come across a number of awful stories in the news that have been sidelines by the Virginia case in my attempt to find this for anyone who's interested. It's a bit of good news for you: a story about chocolate farmers in a remote Mayan community that are making a well-deserved dollar for honest work. It's a great article and it may lift the mood a bit.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those in Virginia.